At my worst, I feel myself doing this when looking back on old friendships.
Why do we do this?
I think it’s to do with the pain that comes from recognising the distance that’s grown between people. The ego doesn’t like to feel hurt and so reacts by trying to paint a negative spin on “What was” in the past.
The reality is, that what we once had in the past friendships, is what we wanted at that time. It’s painful to look back on what’s changed, especially for the worse. But we need time to heal and acknowledge where life is taking us now. I don’t want to taint beautiful old memories and pretend they never happened. They did happen for a reason and it was good for a time.
But perhaps our lives are moving in different directions now and we’re not on the same path as others. But also, the processing of old memories must happen and it takes time. Once we’ve moved through that, we can look back and realise that we don’t need to taint memories: it was part of our healing but now we can accept them.
Do you find yourself trying to taint certain old memories? And if so, why?