“How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?”

Jerry Colonna tells us we should ask ourselves this difficult question.

In the linked podcast, he says he used to ask his clients that same question, but using the word “responsible”, instead of “complicit”. But he goes on to explain how there is guilt associated with the word “responsibility”.

We can sometimes feel it’s all our fault and blame ourselves. This is going too far in one direction. But so is saying: “it’s not my fault. It was all out of my control”

Over the past few weeks at uni, I’ve felt very overwhelmed. I was complaining about it the other day, when I was reminded of Jerry’s words. I am being complicit in creating these stressful moments by not creating the space to deal with them. And I’m choosing to do too much and commit to too many obligations. This is stressful, but it’s worse when we miss obligations, especially with other people. That’s when the guilt weighs heavy.

I’m trying to create better conditions for myself so I’m not feeling overwhelmned for the rest of this semester.

Would you say you’re being complicit in a certain situation in your own life?