Walking around the uni campus I often overhear snatches of conversation: boring lecturers, the last night out, the strikes.

But the most common thing I seem overhear is about sex and people’s relationships. I only hear snippets of anecdotes, but it’s interesting to see how important this seems to be in students’ lives.

A friend told me about their housemate’s relationship which they perceive as almost neurotic. Their partner doesn’t really like them doing other things without them and has to see them before and after a night out with their friends. 

I think as humans we long for someone to mirror us and make us feel appreciated. My observation (although some people are importantly called to a single life) is that we can feel like something is missing without another person. Who or what can fill that emptiness?

Sometimes it is another person. But when that person becomes “our world” and someone “we need”, we both stop growing. The relationship becomes an obsession and we almost worship that person. We are incomplete without them. But if we only find our identity in another person, we don’t allow them to flourish into who they’re meant to be and neither do we. Things like sex, relationships, careers, money are temporary. We must ground our identity in something bigger something passing – otherwise we will not “grow up”.

Would you say you’re obsessed with something or someone?