Testing Friendships

I was talking with a friend recently about how they’re finding staying in touch with people. They explained how it’s been difficult with a certain friendship group.

They all used to be close but seem to have grown apart over recent years. Added to this difficulty, is the fact that some members of the group make more effort to bring people together than others.

This has caused frustration and resentment, resulting in recent arguments.

My friend is in a difficult position because they can see the issue from both sides. They understand the frustration of making all the effort for it not to be reciprocated. But they also acknowledge that some people may have other things going on right now and may have moved on in their friendships.

We can’t compare our situations with others because it only creates tension and frustration. We can project onto others, but not really understand what’s going on in their lives. It’s not our place to pass that judgment.

This is not the time to “Test Friendships” and pressure the people we care about. Yes, there is the opportunity to connect which is important. But we have to question our motivations for testing whether people still care about us or want to be friends.

I wonder, if we have to “Test Friendships”, is this authentic friendship anyway?