A friend’s mum sent them shopping to buy some biscuits. They wanted to give the nurses who’d looked after her sister a present for their kindness. She herself is a nurse and knows the hard work and demands of the job. But she insisted on getting some “fancy” biscuits from Marks and Spencer.
My friend asked why this mattered and why a packet of Tesco value biscuits wouldn’t suffice? Surely any gift the nurses received meant something because it’s not about the biscuits, but the thought that someone is grateful for them and their work.
The “fancy” biscuits were a statement. A statement about my friend’s mum and how she wanted to be seen. This isn’t a bad thing because we’re all concerned about status and image. But it affects the choices we make. And sometimes the choices we make are more to do with how we’ll be seen, rather than what we’re doing.
I don’t think the nurses would’ve minded about the biscuits.
What matters is that we all want to be seen, heard and valued.
How do you hope to come across to others?