Holding Tension

Something I’ve been trying to work on in my meditation practice is holding the tension of uncomfortable thoughts and emotions.

Over the past few months of difficulties with my mental health, I’ve perhaps run from difficult situations and emotions. Rather than try to confront them in my fragile state, it was better to run from them than attempt to deal with them in the wrong state of mind.

Since things have improved over the past few weeks, I’m now trying to do the hard work of confronting the tension within me. 

It’s not easy. It’s painful. Sometimes I don’t want to do it and attempt to distract myself as a way of coping.

But throughout my self-work, I’ve realised that these feelings won’t go away. I’ll likely have to live with these struggles my whole life as they’re not “problems to be solved” necessarily.

Instead, I’m working on holding, noticing and observing the tension rather than running from it. 

Once again, this is no quick fix. But a daily, consistent slog, although it’s one that I hope will pay off.

How do you hold the tension between difficult things in your life?